for a long time, it didn’t work. a bird that never learned flying. a car with no engine. a body god forgot to put a person into.
i would try to be movie-star happy, even a little, even a slice of it. practiced the steps. parties and beaches and selfies with friends. good food and netflix binges. long walks and singing to the radio and talking until the sun was rising.
i was empty. happy slid off me. even good moments felt hollow, like if i looked too hard at them, they’d crumble.
okay.
what worked was settling for good-enough. no, it wasn’t going to be magical. it was going to be okay, and that was still a high goal. i remember one day thinking: my happy will never be as happy as other people are.
my happy didn’t show up on christmas morning. it didn’t come in a costume on halloween. the hole i had to fill was too big to sew shut for 24 hours. i had to work to patch myself back up. years of it. of slogging. of mud.
and then one day i realized i was more than just okay. i was good. and that good turned into happy. and that happy lasted, bone-strong and steel thick, unbending. my life still had bad things in it. but i had sealed the hole and made the healing stick. i still have days where the darkness comes in.
and some days now, i am movie-star happy. i feel laughter in a place i forgot the sunshine could get to. i wake up on holidays and dont mime the excitement. the excitement is true.
it might not be, you know, as happy as everyone else’s happy. but i wake up and i feel… good.
Sometimes good posts are made by annoying people so I’ll help out
These are Safe Shorts. They were made by Sandra Seilz after someone attempted to rape her. If the fabric is torn, an alarm will be sounded.
This is the Rape-aXe, invented by a South African doctor by the name of
Sonnet Ehlers. After interviewing a rape victim who wished she had teeth down there, she made this. If someone’s penis is inserted and pulled back out, the teeth will sink in, and can only be removed by a doctor.
The Killer Tampon (couldn’t find a site for it), made by retired anaesthetist Jaap Haumann. When penetration takes place, the sharp end will slice the offending appendage.
The Anti-Rape Belt (also couldn’t find a site), made by a group of Swedish teenagers led by Nadja Björk. It requires two hands to undo.
Anti-Rape Underwear/Bra (once again), as made by a group of Indian students. Will deliver an electric shock when met with unwanted advances, as well as sounding an alarm.
Undercover Colours. Made by 4 male undergraduates at North Carolina U, they change colours when in contact with chemicals or drugs that cause unconsciousness. Used in case you’re wary that your drink has been roofied.
These are just tools to help, but in addition to being mindful of your situations and staying safe, they can help when the worst happens.
Stay safe.
ok, those are all kind of awesome. i wish they weren’t needed, bit still…awesome solutions.
I feel more comfortable reblogging this version
RapeAxe has a gofund me up that barely has 700 dollars. I feel like the inventions that havent even been funded yet should be linked to the page you can support them at.
